yuup. i've decided to change my url address of my bloggie. nopey. i wont publicise my new blog address. so if any of you wants to know, just ask me. in this way, i would know who is reading my blog. clever right. haha. i guess the main reason why i want to change my address is that i dun wish too many people to know my blog, so i'll be more at ease to write whatever i wish to. thanks for accompanying me for the past one year or so. it hasnt been a smooth journey and most of my entries have been repleted with sadness. well, there are of cuz significant events that really made my days. may i find real comfort and joy in my new blogging journey. ciaos!   * photos taken by my kor on his Mount Kinabalu expedition. breathtaking! (:
i think they are going to return us our gp compre paper tml. oh my! oh my! so fast! hahah. my AQ is a goner. dangs. i dun wish to think abt it now. a fren of mine told me sometimes when u read back ur past entries, u cant help wondering why in the hell did i write that for. hahah. yeapp. it just happened when i read back my past entries. haha. it seems so silly and ridiculous to me that i took such a long time to forget abt him. hahah. gosh. i was THAT devoted and sentimental. okay. i better finish up my vectors tutorial and start packing up for tml. it sure seems funny to study again after slacking for the past 3 days or so.
for the past 2 days, i went running with my mum and sis at punggol park. it was quite ironic cuz i had to drag my feet to the park. but when i started running and got into the mood, i just didnt want to stop. haha. today i broke my own personal record! felt super satisfied with myself. hahah. ((: maybe the idyllic sunset made my run so much more worthwhile. no kidding, my area here has gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. (: like what jiahui said, it's difficult to write abt ur personal feelings, just like you own diary, on this public blog. but i dun have the time to write diaries and blogging seems to be the only convenient way to pen down my thoughts, even at the expense of divulging or exposing my inner thoughts. im just going to pretend nobody knows abt my blog. hahah. just now, i open my drawer and spotted this heartshaped metal box. yuup. it was his vday present. gosh. i duno why i still have this heavy nostalgia feeling when i open it up. in it, there were his letter which had a drawing he did. he promised he would draw another one for me but well, it never came true. also, there was a small piece of cloth with a heart sewn on it. i never had the chance to give it to him. And there was a piece of paper which kailuen wrote sth really sweet abt me & him and gave it to me. i never had the heart to throw that away. there are just too many things in my drawer or boxes that carry memories of him. okay, yeah. i know i should snap out of this and stop thinking of the past. but it's always ummm, nice to reminisce those memories, bad or good. okay im done with those memories. i shall chuck it one side for now. (: anyway, i've lost all of the links to u guys' webbies. please let me know if u want me to relink u guys. sorry! * fate may have swept us away through times but sometimes, fate has a strange way of bringing us both together.
hey peeps, if any of u have unwanted school uniform that u're dying to get rid of, please sms, call or email me. my fren, Charles, from Volunteer Resource Network is trying to raise funds from the collection of old school uniforms. The objectives is to raise funds to help to cover the following : - Operational cost for VRN, - Volunteer’s training and welfare programmes - Other activities that we helped to organize for the 42 welfare organizations in our list (refer to their website for the full listing), eg. the recent movie outing events involving 330 participants mostly from 3 welfare groups. http://web.singnet.com.sg/~ccltan/ please kindly support this drive as it is of a good cause and there's no use keeping those school uniforms in ur closet, isnt it? haha. i better start with all my undone tutorials before the long weekend is over. got so much to be done! anyway, it's best to keep myself busy in order to not let my thoughts wander too much. good night to you! ((:
a few weeks ago, i had this really scary dream. it was about my closest loved one, my mei. anyway, this is what the dream was about... my mei was about to leave for Beijing was some studies, most prob some physiotherapy course. anyway, spore was experiencing some really bad weather and it predicted that an impending hurricane would strike our island really soon. (according to the dream, she would die on the flight to beijing.) but she still decided to go ahead despite the dangers posed. before she left, i just pulled her towards me and embraced her very tightly, refusing to let go. then we started to cry uncontrollably. the tears just spilled over. i cant seem to forget that particular part of my dream. the feeling of losing her seemed so surreal. i felt that i was really going to lose her and the thought of it scares the sh*t out of me. after being so tramautised by this dream, can you imagine what would happen if (touch wood!)one uneventful day, she's taken away from me? i mean having her around me (literally 24/7, 12 months a year) for exactly 18 years, 3 months and 12 days, i've already grown so used to her being around me. but having her so close to me has its own disadvantages too. it took me a very very long time and lotsa effort to accept someone [she shld know this]. maybe i was just being over-protective of her. just like how she took such a tough time to accept mine in the past. funny thing is that it is as though our lives have been fused or interlocked from the beginning. we've never been apart for more than 3 days. (due to camps or chalets) haha. even during the 3 days, i will miss her too. through kindergarden, primary school, seconday school and now, junior college, we've been more than just sisters alone. instead, she has become my friend, friendly competitor, CCA mate, supporter, advisor and even, my bickering partner. i cant tell you how much i appreciate and cherish her. despite always bickering with her over minuscule issues such as how much money she owes me, hey, i still [*ahem] love her k. [dun cringe!] well, i cant envisage the life without her. life seems impossible without her. i shld start cherishing her. so i will start it by declaring YOU, yesh, YOU, the love of my life. wahahaha. i'll not love someone more than i love you. [wahh. goosebumps!!!] hahah. (: 
5 more days... the anxiety for the exams is building up again. it's so overwhelming that i stm find hard to breathe. my heart seems to pumping so quickly and i cant seem to stop it. drats. this anxiety in me bounds to worsen as the exams get nearer. i duno what i am so fearful of. maybe it's the banding. maybe it's the peer pressure. maybe it's my family expectations. or maybe it's my own silly pressure im putting hard on myself. what i know is that this anxiety is waiting silently to consume me. i cant imagine what would become of me when the big As is near. now i can understand why such a significant number of students commit suicide yearly. dun worry, i wont do such a cowardice and foolish act. BUT PLEASE LET THIS ANXIETY PASS QUICKLY!
it's 1.48am and i duno what am i doing online for. hahahah. crazy me~ life is yet again another routine, another cycle that never seems to end. study, eat, sleep, watch tv, surf net, study, sleep... as much as i hate what im doing now, i know i've got no other choice. being a not-so-intelligent girl, i've to work doubly doubly hard to get the grades i aim for. 2 more weeks for hard work, 4 days for perservance. and it'll be over. ((: oyes, im hungry again!!!! hahaha. i've been binging on whatever i have for the past few days. sinful sinful! oki. enough of my crapping, i better finish up my revision before my sis turns off the lights!
im not feeling sad or whatever. but yet, i have this inexplicable feeling that i want to be left alone.   * everything that has a beginning will have an end.
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